Why you don't go chasing balls in bowling alleys

James and I took Noah bowling Saturday night with a friend from high school, Alicia, and her husband Tom. Prior to Saturday night, Noah's exposure to bowling had been misleading. To Noah, bowling was setting up foam pins at one end of the living room on a red plastic mat, and hurling a little red ball at the aforementioned foam pins. To Noah, bowling means you THROW the ball (think over-hand, much like throwing a baseball) at the pins, run after the ball and knock all the pins down with your body. Then you giggle and squeal as mama sets the pins up again.

The bowling we exposed Noah to on Saturday was NOT the game he had in mind. He didn't understand why it was so loud, why he couldn't touch the balls, and that he is NOT supposed to run after the ball after Mama throws it down the lane. To be fair, it IS cruel to take a two year old boy who loves throwing balls to a place that is TEEMING with balls of all different colors and telling him, "look but don't touch because if you touch, your cute little piggies will be smashed to bits."

James and I did our best to entertain Noah while the adults bowled. We asked for, and received, a ramp so that Noah could play; that lasted for about four frames. By the fifth, Noah was done and wanted to hold and throw the ball. When it became apparent that he wasn't going to get his way, he took to just standing and watching. Or so I thought.

I did my best impression of a "bowler" and hurled my ball down the lane. As soon as I let go, Noah ran after the ball. Full speed, down a very slippery lane. I took off after him and we got about half way down the lane when he slipped. Then I slipped. Apparently grace runs in the family because his very awkward running and subsequent fall looked exactly like mine. Gangly arms and legs flailing (that was the running part) and large feet flying up into the air as we landed hard on our non-existent bums. Thankfully for Noah he had a diaper on. Unfortunately, he doesn't have the cat-like reflexes that I have and he hit the back of his head on the floor. I caught myself with my forearm.

After James and our friends processed all that happened (the synchronized running and falling happened so fast), James met me and Noah at the top of the lane (because there was NO WAY he was going to slip and fall like Noah and I just did) and took a hurt and crying Noah from me. I don't think James told Noah that running after the ball isn't a part of bowling; I don't think that he had to.